Preachin' to my peeps!

You know it's funny. Don't fuck with my art. It's expression. Westside bitch.

When the shit hits the gym..

...Today at the gym, some guy was in the stall taking a big-ass shit. You could tell that he still had his headphones in and was listening to some type of rap music. Knowing this, i was a little less bladder shy and began to urinate.

But then he started making noises. Real noisy noises. Small grunts, and wind blow outs. Like he was having a hard time trying to whistle. But didn't realize how loud he was being. Then i started hearing his poopy come out. There was a lot. You could tell he had just had a protein shake by the amount of feces and smell that was coming out of him.

The only way i can describe the sound it made, well it sounds like 300 feathers of shit shooting out his ass is at once...well, kinda like a plastic bag being tossed around. Or someone blowing on tissue paper. A very high protein shit. Lot of little pieces, i could tell. I was very interested in this man's dookie.

Then the smell. That protein shit smell. If you don't know what that smells like, walk into any men's bathroom in a gym...THERE! STOP! RIGHT THERE! You smell that? That's it. Like the bottom of a shoe. Kind of rubbery, kind of wanna gaggy, kind of like frozen peas and sulfer whooshed together as one.

I heard him spinning the toilet paper off the roll. *TUMBA-TUMBA-TUMBA! TUMBA-TUMBA-TUMBA!*

Didn't take him long to wipe. He was quick. Probably didn't want to lose his pump, and make it back to the hack-squat machine before it got racked up. You could tell by his brisk walk, he was working legs that day.

He walked out the stall. I closed my eyes and whiffed in as the door woofed his dookie poop smell into my face. Kind of opened my mouth, so the scent would sting my tongue, and i could taste what he had for lunch...Mmmm. Tuna Sub, Lite Mayo. Oil and Vinegar.

Peeped in the stall...He was reading an old issue of "Flex Magazine". That figures....He seemed like a pretty big faggot to me.

What a loser.


-Chainsaw